Hm… How long has is been since I actually talked to you Tumblr people? I suppose a while, right? In that case, this calls for a long, epic post about how things are going! I know, you are SO excited, right? Hold your groans for the drama! 

  I suppose first I should just start with how much I regret not joining any clubs or being in something this year. Sure I was in Brigade Training and Ag, but that isn’t really something where your friend can look in the yearbook and say,”Look there’s, Karalyn!” And I’m not saying that I want to be recognized. I’m just saying that I felt left out seeing all of my friends in groups and I wasn’t in any. So I’m happy I’m joining Choir next year and will hopefully be able to get rides to and from the school for clubs!

  Now I want to put off the drama for a bit. So.. Ah, I got a job! Sort of. I don’t suppose I’ve shared my goals and dreams, have I? Well, when I’m older I would really love to be a writer. But I’m choosing to pick a realistic job and going with Maternity Nurse. For those of you who have no clue what that is, it’s a Registered Nurse who helps soon-to-be mothers while they are waiting for the delivery of their babies. ^-^ In relevance to that, my mom scored me a volunteer job at the Veteran’s Hospital she works at. Of course, there aren’t any Maternity Nurses there, but there will be other sorts of doctors that I can watch and learn from!

  Anything else I can say to stall… Oh! I’m starting a new book. I know I always trash all my ideas, but I’ve elaborated so much on this one I can’t afford to throw it away! I know, you’re amazed. I would explain further, but that’s a different story for a different time. 

  Alright, now the rather annoying stuff I wouldn’t type if I didn’t have to tell someone. And who better to tell than no one? So, lets get started with… Hm… A person I would rather not converse about but must. 

  So, he, I suppose we’ll call him, was obviously a bad idea. You see, I’ve never actually been “stalked” before, but I would assume it’s a lot like this. It’s such a shame that you can’t block numbers, I will tell you. I mean it’s sweet that he’s still fighting for me. But I’m so over it. I mean… I didn’t break up with him because I wanted to get back with him. And I know that sounds SO horrible, and I really don’t mean to be such a bitch, that isn’t what I’m trying to do. I was just more than aware that we were going no where so I ended it. I’m not sure if that makes me a horrid person… And if it does, I’m terribly sorry. But it’s the way it is. I don’t want to be bothered with now. It was done… A month or two ago. So why is he still trying when he knows I won’t allow him back? Thank you immensely for your kindness, yet I don’t want it. And he seems so nice, doesn’t he? Yet the thing is, he really isn’t. I mean, he’s practically blackmailed me about some stupid mistakes I was pressured into, and that is just… Too low of a move to forgive. And if you think that it’s perfectly okay to pressure and blackmail a 14 year old girl that has done nothing wrong to you, then go for it. Just don’t expect to talk to her ever again. 

  Then there’s Cuddles. Haha, I gave him that name a while back, it’s an inside joke. Has been my friend since 8th grade, I’m sure I’ve talked about him a few times. And we’ve had so many comments about how great of a couple we would be that he asked me out one day a month or so ago. Of course, I said yes. But now I’ve stuck myself in a new situation where he’s so distant that it’s like nothing even changed. And sure I would be fine with that if I wasn’t true that I like him so much. And when I’m lucky to get one hug in an entire week… It’s just a bit bizarre and not fair for me. So I’ve tried to talk to him about it but he always changes the subject. Finally last week I couldn’t really stand that anymore and we actually talked about it. So now I’m not even sure where we stand…. Which makes life even harder.

  Yet to complicate things even more, there’s Aladdin(Also an inside joke). And the other day where He went of on me, Aladdin comforted me on the bus, and was telling me how he’ll always be there for me. And I’ve actually known him since 7th grade, yet I didn’t really start talking to him until a few months ago when he started dating a close friend of mine. And we texted back and forth quite often since then, and we hung out an awful lot. Unfortunately I think that there was a lot of subtle flirting that I hadn’t quite caught which led to him asking me out today. Of course I couldn’t say yes because Cuddles and I are…. Something, I guess? I don’t even really know. But I still couldn’t confirm it. Although I do actually, and I far beyond hate to admit but I’ve fallen for the guy so I couldn’t say no either. And…

  I just hate the messes I get myself into. I could write a book just based on all of this trouble I catch myself in. I just… I mean I haven’t had a good attack in a while, but I legit broke down a little while ago. I.. I don’t understand why things always have to get so complicated. 

  But I’ll never give up. And I still regret nothing. Everything happens for a reason and all that… At least I have the whole summer to straighten everything out! ….

I like how I haven’t listened to a drop of music today, but I’m still the happiest I’ve been in a while. ♥